don't answer the door

I'm not really sure how to explain what happened last night. I was at home alone playing some online scrabble(don't judge me) when the doorbell rang. My first instinct was like everyone when someone is at your door unexpectedly. I wanted to hide, peek out the window and wait until they left. For some reason I decided I needed to see who was at my door at 8:45 at night. I opened the door and a short middle aged man was standing there. He was kind of short, had unkempt hair, dirty clothes, and a rather nice mustache. Well, it was a regular mustache but I think they are all rather nice. Anyway, this is what happened when I opened the door.

Ben- Hi.
Man- Hello sir how are you this evening?
Ben- I'm good.
Man-How long have you lived here?
Ben- Um... about six months.
Man- Oh....
silence
Ben- (gives awkward look)
Man-(also gives awkward look)
more silence
Man- I'm your neighbor
Ben- Oh, where do you live?
Man- Umm... I live down the...
more silence.
Man-My name is Tom
Ben- uh... nice to meet you Tom. I'm Ben.
Tom- I live in the neighborhood
Ben- o.k
Tom- I need insulin

at this point in my mind am thinking that I might actually be talking to the hobo that stole my bikes.

Tom- my father will be here soon. He will help me with the insulin. I just need twenty dollars to buy it.
Ben- Did you steal my bikes Tom?
Tom- no
Ben- (stares at Tom a moment) I don't have any cash.
Tom- ok
Ben- sorry
Tom-ok

Tom starts to walk away. after a couple of steps he turns around

Tom- i didn't steal your bikes.
Ben- ok

and Tom walks out of my life.

Maybe, just maybe I got to meet the hobo that lived in my garage and stole my bikes. He looked guilty. Maybe it was some guy that really just needed insulin and now he is dead. I hope not, I had the twenty bucks.

and the weiner is...

The results are in and we have finally gotten through the November elections. Most people are happier to see the political ads gone rather than the results. It is so sad to see politicians try to bring down the character of their opposing opponent just to win. I mean, it is sad that they do not do a better job. I think next elections I will try to dabble in the world of politics. Here are some of the 2006 winners and the ad campaigns I plan to run against them.

Governor

TED STRICKLAND HATES JEWS

Ted Strickland wants to make celebrating channukah illegal. He proposed raising taxes on Jewish people and using the funds to fill his home with Christmas trees and posters of The Passion of the Christ.


I'm Ben Genson and i approve this message because yamakas are adorable.



U.S Senate

SHERROD BROWN

Sherrod Brown claims to want to have a tighter border patrol. The truth is, Sherrod Brown loves Mexicans. Sherrod Brown bought this souviner in Tijuana where he paid to see a "show" of a woman having relations with a donkey.Sherrod Brown does not want tighter borders. Sherrod Brown wants to bring Mexicans and their "shows" into our country.


I'm Ben Genson and i approve this message because I have never been to a donkey show.



ISSUE 5 (yes, i plan to run against an issue)

Issue 5 takes away our freedom to smoke. If we take away a persons right to smoke then they will have to find alternatives to smoking in public places. Many people may turn to sucking on hard candy. 20% percent of deaths are cause by *choking on candy. Issue 5 will kill people.

* among children ages three and below

I'm Ben Genson and I approve this message because i look cool with a cigar.



So there it is. I hope that everyone does the right thing next elections. If you don't vote for me, I'll just tell everyone you are a racist.